El, Elle n' Elly: The Els Strike Down
by LALtheUltimate
Summary: A gender-flipped version of "EEnE: Big Picture Show". The Els, in their latest attempt to become popular, blew up the entire neighborhood. Now with the rest of the kids chasing them relentlessly, they decide to find Elly's super-cool older sister to save themselves. Thus, they will embark into a journey full of comedy, drama, friendship and, of course, JAWBREAKERS! (SUSPENDED)
1. Chapter 1: Goodbye, Peach Creek

**Hello, I'm LALtheUltimate, and this is the gender-flipped version of the Ed, Edd n' Eddy movie, so before reading, I want to clarify most things:**

**- Since it's the genderswap of an already existent movie, expect spoilers to appear, if you didn't watch the original movie. If you did, it's okay.**

**- This fic contains bad language, violence (slapstick and realistic) and sexual references, so beware.**

**- The appearance of the characters (and more) can be found in my website in deviantART, LALtheUltimate.**

**- And finally, enjoy it!**

* * *

_"Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites" by Skrillex_

_It was evening. An empty cul-de-sac was being illuminated by the sunset's light. Three silhouettes start walking. They had the form of young women, and their faces couldn't be seen. The left one was tall, slim, busty and with short hair. The center one was very short, with clenched fists and a short and spiky haircut. The right one had a sock-like hat in her head, straight hair, and her height was between the other two. The scene cuts with said girls' backs, walking into the sunset._

**El, Elle n' Elly: The Els Strike Down**

**By LAL**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Goodbye, Peach Creek**

_Everything was peaceful in the cul-de-sac that was Peach Creek. The playground seemed quiet, and the trailer park was shown, with a clothesline filled with clothes. It was not a perfect place to live, since it was a medium-low class suburb, but at least wasn't a dump._

_'Til now_.

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

**…:** _*after the explosion*_ What the…?

_Two kids, one a red-headed guy and a blonde little girl, went outside with a shocked face. Everything was destroyed. There was some debris around the corner, between them a toaster, a bowling ball and a balloon tied to a twisted lamppost. A house has suffered remarkable damage, having an ice cream truck crashed into the garage. A water main was broken, making the woods slightly flooded. One of the houses had, strangely enough, a canoe crashed in the rooftop. Not to mention the smell of smoke that was in the air, increasing as it expanded to the entire lane._

**Jill: **_*scared*_ W-What do you think that happened?

**Sam:** I don't know, but I'm sure my stupid sister had something to do with this.

_Said sister was running away, carrying a package with plenty of comics, figures of anime characters and peanut butter. As Sam guessed, she was one of the culprits for the disaster. Her name was Elizabeth Hortense Swanson, known as El; and was searching for her two friends, the other culprits of the Disaster._

**El:** _*running*_ Shit! Crap! Shit!

_A house was shown after that. It was Ellen Marion Hopper's house, nicknamed Double L. The girl was in her room, writing a farewell letter to her estranged parents. She was consumed by angst and remorse, and had trouble to even think properly of the situation._

**Elle:** Dear parents, by the time you'll read this, I will be far away from here. I-I… _*tears roll around her cheeks*_ I confess, with great shame, that I was involved into the horrible, despicable, reprehensible, immoral… _*stops*_ OH, WHAT THE HELL! _*starts to cry*_

**El:** _*breaks the door with a kick*_ DOUBLE L!

**Elle:** El! What are you…? _*gets carried with El's free arm*_ Hey!

**El: **_*leaves through the window*_ SHIT! CRAP! SHIT!

_They run into another house and entered with ease. In one of the rooms, there was the leader of the culprits: Eloise Skyler McGee, aka Elly. She was doing her package in panic when someone knocked the door._

**Elly:** _*falsetto*_ Sorry everyone, my little Elly is not home now.

_*the door flies away*_

**Elly:** _*defending herself*_ Don't touch me! I have a vacuum cleaner!

**El:** _*panicked*_ A VACUUM CLEANER! NO!

**Elly:** _*angry*_ El! You scared me! _*looks around*_ Where is Sockhead?

**El:** Here! _*releases Double L*_

**Elly:** Girls! Quick! To my sister's room! _*runs off*_

_They both enter in Elly's sister's room, closing the door with locks, a chair, and even a wardrobe. Shutting off the lights, they both huddle, with only a lantern to illuminate the room._

**Elly:** _*whispering*_ Okay, girls, if we want to survive, we need a plan. _*directs to Double L*_ Sockhead, any ideas to get us out of the mess that you've gotten us in?

**Elle:**_*shocked*_ Me?! That funny, considering it was **your** idea to begin with.

**Elly:** Well, you didn't stop us, even when you knew that it would go bad.

**El:** Horribly, horribly bad, girls.

**Elle:** _*noticing a cage*_ Hey, what's this? _*reads the title of the cage*_ In case of movie, break glass?

**Elly:** Yahoo! My sis is always on! _*opens the cage and finds a peanut*_ A peanut?

**El:** _*indignant*_ Screw this movie.

_*they open the peanut and find a key*_

**Elle: **A key?

**Elly:** _*happy* _Hey, that's my sister's car keys! We're saved!

**Elle:** What car?

**El:** Hey, girls! A car! _*points the car*_

**Elle:** _*surprised at Elly*_ Your sister has a car inside her room?

**Elly:** No time to explain! Get in the car!

**Elle:** Elly, we're minors, we don't know how to drive.

**El:** I do!

**Elly:** _*sarcastic* _Yeah, right. Like I'll let you drive my awesome sister's car.

_*they hear a bunch of furious kids going to the room and trying to break in*_

**Elly:** _*shocked, looks at the viewer*_ We don't have any other option, right?

_They went inside the car. El was in the driver's seat, Elly backseat, and Elle shotgun. El puts the key and starts the car, turning on the radio. It was playing "Shiny Happy People" by R.E.M. El waits a bit._

**El:** MY NAME IS EL! CHEESE AND MACARONI, BASTARDS! _*drives and goes out the window*_

* * *

_"Shiny Happy People" by R.E.M_

**Elly:** _*surprised*_ Hey, how did you learn to drive LIKE THIS?!

**El: **Mario Kart, girls. Everything is from the Mario Kart.

**Elly:** Yeah, that game rocks!

**El: **My brother said that was a big waste of time.

**Elly:** El, your brother is a big dork!

**El:** _*randomly*_ He also said I was stupid and smacked me.

_*Elle and Elly look at each other with shocked faces*_

**Elle:** Emm… That was unnecessary to explain, El.

_*the car runs into the woods*_

_The kids broke down the door, but it was too late, as they saw the Els running the car. The kids were consisting in a blond guy with medium hair shaved; a red-headed and seemingly rich girl with her clothes tattered and carrying a mobile; and a tall girl (presumably foreign) with long dark blue hair who had bloodied bandages around her stomach and waist. All of them had scars around them, and to say they were angry would be a great understatement._

**Nate:** _*watching them going out with the car* _They're escaping!

**Kenny:** Those bitches!

**Rose:** Rose needs some help! Winnie!

_*a huge pig appears*_

**Kenny:** _*disgusted*_ A pig? Really?

**Nate:** My bike! _*a bike randomly appear, and begins checking it*_ It's not perfect, but I can ride it.

**Kenny:** Can I go with you? I want to crush those losers! _*crunchs knuckles*_

**Nate:** Of course. _*Kenny sits behind Nate*_ I'm not going to let them to get away! Not after what they did to MY HAIR! _*points his hair*_

_The three kids went after the car, furiously. Suddenly, a random school bus was next to them, and they looked at it, surprised. The window opens, and they see a piece of wood with a painted face in it, apparently driving the bus._

**Kenny:** Plank? No way!

_A strange little girl appears. She had a light brown skin and curly brown hair. Her main characteristic is she had a watermelon as a hat and mask at the same time. Like them, she had scars and tattered clothes._

**Jodie:** Hey, guys! Lady Melonhead and Miss Wonderwood to your service!

**Nate, Kenny & Rose:** _*with disdain*_ Jodie…

**Jodie:** Hey, you're in the Els' hunt, right?

**Plank:**

**Jodie:** _*gets angry*_ I know they're in the Els' hunt! I'm not _that_ stupid!

**Plank:**

**Jodie: **'Cause heroes do those kind of questions, darn it!

**Kenny:** _*changes subject*_ Hey, where did those losers go?

**Rose:** The El-girls went to the woods. Rose saw their car goin' inside.

**Nate:** Let's go, then!

_As they're getting into the woods, Sam and Jill were looking after them. They both stop running and take a breath._

**Sam:** Wow, they really are angry.

**Jill:** I don't know what they did, but sure it was the WORST! THING! EVER!

**Sam:** Wanna see the beating? _*smiles mischievously*_

**Jill:** _*happily*_ Yeah! Now it's time those criminals get what they deserve!

* * *

_Crush Crush Crush - Paramore_

_The Els passed the woods and were driving in the local dump. Kenny and Nate were waiting in the top of a junk mountain, and Rose was just behind them, riding Winnie. Jodie was far more away from them. Suddenly, the Els saw Kenny and Nate furiously next to them._

**Kenny: **_*angrily*_ LOSERS!

**Elly:** Oh, shit!

_*Rose appears on the other side of the car, running Winnie and with a trident in her hands*_

**Rose:** That's it, El-girls! Prepare from Rose's fervent fury! _*tries to attack them with the trident*_

**The Els:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! _*El presses the accelerator and goes away*_

**Elle:** _*turning green and covering her mouth*_ Ladies, I'm getting sick!

**Elly:** _*angrily*_ Not in my sister's car!

**Elle:** Okay. _*opens the window and pukes*_

**Elly:** Girl… _*worried, pets her back*_

**El:** She doesn't like travels, does she?

_The girls look up and soon realize that the car roof was ripped off by Rose, who managed to jump there. The Els look in horror to the sky._

**Elle:** _*paranoic*_ Oh, dear, that's wonderful! We've destroyed our home and running for our disgraceful lives! We only need a zombie apocalypse!

_*Kenny, Nate and Rose appearing in the roof and act like zombies*_

**Elly:** _*To Elle*_ You just had to say it, _*shouting in anger*_ RIGHT, DUMBASS?!

**Kenny:** You losers!

**Nate:** You'll gonna pay!

**Rose:** Rose will use your skin to make Rose's Nana a coat!

**El:** It wasn't my fault! _*points at Elly*_ Elly did it!

**Elly:** Yeah, right! _*points at Double L*_ It was Double L!

**Elle:** _*surprised*_ What?! How could you…?

**El:** _*gets dragged off the car by Rose*_ AAAAAAAAAAH!

**Elle & Elly:** EL! _*hold her and bring her back*_

**Elly:** Now what we're gonna do, girls?!

_*Elle notices they're going near the playground, and she has an idea*_

**Elle:**_ *to the kids*_ Emm, excuse me, could you give me a second?

_Everyone reacted strangely to that question. Elle grabs the merry-go-round, and the centrifugal force led the kids to be pushed far away from them, while the car was flying in the opposite direction._

**Kenny:** LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS! _*flies away along with the other kids*_

**Elle:** _*sighs*_ Thank goodness, we're saved… from now.

**El:** Yeah, now we just have to use the parachute to land out there.

**Elle:** Emm… cars don't have parachutes, El.

**El:** _*shocked*_ What?

_*the car stopped in the air, with the Els having shocked faces*_

**Elle:** Oh…

**Elly:** My…

**El:** God!

_*the car falls*_

**The Els:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

_When the car landed, it started running in circles and went uncontrolled until it crashed into a giant rock out of nowhere, leading the Els unconscious. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that, for now, they will be fugitives and couldn't go back to their beloved home. Now they were real delinquents, and couldn't escape from that fate ever._

**To Be Continued…**


	2. Chapter 2: In Search and Seizure

**Hello, everyone! I'm writing this because I forgot to say one thing: The beginning of the fic is pretty much the same, but the story will differ as the story advances, so you have to wait a little to see the new things. Also, I'm going to put less f-words and change it to a more nomal fic, but mind this is a more mature version, and I'm only doing this for fun.**

**Withouth further ado, enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 2: In Search and Seizure**

_The three girls woke up after a short time of unconsciousness. They both got off the car, now merely a metal cage with wheels. As they left the car, they realize they were in a deserted clearin, with nothing but dry land and the sun._

**Elle:** _*touching her head*_ Girls, where are we?

**Elly: **_*puts her back into place*_ I don't know and I don't care! As long as those idiots are far away from us!

**Elle:** Oh, dear! What are we gonna do now?

**El:** _*surprisingly appearing between them*_ We can make a circus! _*hugs Double L*_ Double L can be the clown! _*goes to Elly*_ And Elly can be the shortest elephant ever!

**Elly:** _*angry*_ What? No way! Do you think I have an elephant face?

_She shows her face, similar to an elephant._

**El and Elle:** _*looking to each other, confused*_ Errr…

**Elly:** Forget it! By the way, I have a better plan for us… _*grins*_

**Elle:** _*sigh*_ May I ask? _*Elly grins to her*_ What plan do you have?

**El:** _*happily*_ Yes Elly, what plan?

**Elly:** We're going to a place when if those idiots find us, they're going back to Peack Creek in a coffin… _*pauses a little*_ MY SISTER'S HOUSE!

**Elle:** _*__skeptical*_ Yeah, I doubt your sister would take care of us in our situation, Elly.

**Elly:** _*grabs her*_ Are you kidding me? We're very close! We are BFF's!

**Elle:** _*downhearted*_ I thought we were your BFF's…

**El: **_*interrupts happily by separating them*_ Your sister?! OMG! She's so cool!

**Elly:** Yeah, and she's waitin' for us! C'mon! Let's take the car!

**Elle:** Elly, I don't think the car will take us somewhere anymore.

**Elly:** Huh? Why do you think that?

_They heard an explosion behind them, and they turn around what happened. The car exploded, and the remaining pieces were flying for a short time. Elly and El looked shocked, while Elle points the situation with a skeptical face._

**Elly:** Okay. Time for a walk! _*runs off grining*_

**El: **_*runs after her*_ Elly's sister is the best!

_Elle takes off her labeler from her hat and puts a label, "Out of Order", in the car hood._

**Elle:** Done. _*runs after Elly and El*_ Wait for me, ladies!

* * *

_Sam and Jill were walking across the woods, and soon came to the trailer park. A wagon full of clothes is shown next to them._

**Jill:** _*shivering*_ This place gives me bad omens. Are you sure the Els went that way?

**Sam:** Of course! Just look at the car marks! _ *rough gigantic car brands appear below them*_

**Jill: **Wow. _*starts walking and hits the laundry*_

_Meanwhile, three older guys were doing the laundry near their own trailer. The eldest had orange, curly hair covering his eyes with a little beard and moustache; the middle one had blue hair, covering his right eye and a billy-goat; and the youngest had long blond hair in a ponytail and stubble._

**Lee:** Dude, I hate laundrys! _*throws the dirty laundry basket away*_ Why we can't hire someone to do this shitty work?

**Matty:** _*picks up the thrown clothes and puts the in the basket*_ 'Cause we don't have money even for snuff.

**Max:** _*hanging clothes*_ Yeah, thug life is really complicated. _*has an idea*_ Hey, what if we rob a bank?

**Matty:** No, man, that's too much. Besides, have you seen their weapons? They could blow our brains out in less than a second.

**Lee:** _*takes another basket*_ You don't have to worry, Max. You have no brains._*Matty giggles*_

**Max:** _*sarcastic*_ Ha, ha, you're so funny, Lee. _*removes a shirt, showing a scared Jill*_ But if I'm rich, then don't come crying to me for money, okay?! _*sees Jill*_

**Jill: **_*scared* _Aaaaaah! The Kankers!

**Max:**_*scared too*_ Aaaaaah! A girl I don't know!

**Lee:** Why is this whiny little girl in our park?

**Matty:** He was spying us.

**Max:** He was spying me! _*puts his arm behind his neck proudly*_

**Matty:** _*sarcastic*_ Yeah, right.

**Max:** _*offended*_ But I'm sexy!

**Lee:** No, dude, _*points to himself*_ I'm sexy. _*points Max*_ You try for it.

**Sam:** _*appears next to Jill*_ Jill! Are you okay?

**Matty: **Whoa, guys, another wimp.

**Lee:** 'Kay, babies. What the hell are you doing here?

**Sam: **It's not your business!

_Lee grabs Sam's shirt._

**Lee:** Not our business, huh?_ *smiles sinisterly*_ Bros, prepare yourselves. This guy has ordered a plus-sized wedgie!

**Jill:** _*in horror*_ A wedgie? NO!

_The Kankers laughed evilly. Matty and Max grabbed Sam's arms, while Lee cracked his fists and, soon after, pulled Sam's pants, nearly ripping them in the process. It hurt Sam a lot, but he refused to show weakness. Not in front of them._

**Lee:** _*still pulling his pants*_ So, how it feels, wimpy?

**Sam:** _*clenched his teeth*_ It… hurts…

**Jill:** _*snaps*_ Stop, please! We went only to see the Els being beaten! Nothing else!

**The Kankers:** WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! _*drop Sam to the ground*_

**Jill:** _*scared* _Yeah! The Els had done something so horrible that everyone is going after them! _*cries*_ I'm sorry, Sam! I'm so sorry!

**Sam:** _*approaches her and hugs her*_ It's okay, Jill. It's not your fault.

**Lee:** You heard that, guys? Those jerks are going to kill our princesses! And you know what that means…

**Matty:** Kickin' justice in the ass?

**Lee:** _*pinchs fingers and points to Matty*_ You got it, man.

**Max:** Yeah, guys, I'm not going to let them touch a piece of El and her boobs! _*dreamily*_ Mmm… boobs… _*drools*_

**Matty:** _*surprised*_ Dude, you're a lech.

**Lee:** Okay, dudes! Let's beat those hicks and save our princesses!

**Jill:** Wait, don't you prefer to drink tea and talk about this? _*forces a smile*_

_The Kankers looked surprised after hearing that.  
_

**Matty:** Congratulations, Max. There's someone more retarded than you.

**Max:** HELL YEAH! *_clenches his fist and takes back his elbow happily*_

**Lee:** Dudes, let's go. And don't forget the wimpies! We'll gonna need 'em.

_Sam and Jill look scared to each other after hearing that._

* * *

_Kenny and Nate were going through the woods again. Nate was riding the bike and Kenny was backseat. Random bugs were hitting them constantly._

**Kenny:** _*sees a bug in her arm*_ Agh, gross! _*takes it off*_ Having insects in my skin freaks me out.

**Nate: **_*with his face plenty of dead flies and deadpan*_ Yeah, I don't know how you will survive…

**Kenny:** _*thinking*_ Okay, those cowards are trying to hide from us. All we have to do is find out where.

**Nate:** _*quitting the dead flies*_ Well, Elly only has her two BFF's, and they're with her right now._*still thinking*_ Oh, and she's always talking of her older sister.

**Kenny:** Yeah, that's… _*realizes*_ THAT'S IT! You're a genius! _*kisses him in the cheek*_

**Nate:** _*blushes*_ Oh, thanks…

_After a brief moment of happiness, Kenny's face changed from blissful to frightening for no apparent reason._

**Kenny:** Wait a minute._*grabs his shirt* _Did you say ELLY'S SISTER?!

_After being grabbed from his shirt, Nate briefly loses control over his bike, but he manages to recover it._

**Nate:** _*angry*_ Are you crazy? We could have been killed!

**Kenny:** And she will kill us if she discovers we're after her little sister! We have to catch 'em before that happens! _*shows her mobile*_ But first, SELFIE! _*takes a photo of herself and tries to send it*_ Crap, there's no signal!

_Nate did a facepalm after that. "God, why I like this half-wit so much?" he thought while leaving the woods for a journey. And a very long one, that's for sure._

* * *

_A Cold Wind in my Mind (Black Lagoon OST)_

_Three silhouettes were walking in the desert. The heat was inhumanly hot, and the three girls can be seen. They were thirsty, tired, and sweaty. Elle and Elly had their sweatshirts around their waists, while El had hers in her head like a turban._

**Elly:** Agh, I hate deserts! Why they have to be so hot?!

**Elle:** Rules of nature, Elly. I just hope we arrive to your sister's house soon. Where's her house Elly?

**Elly:** I have no idea.

_Elle surprisingly stops, making the other two clash against her._

**Elle:** _*astounded*_ You've got to be kidding me. Are you saying were walking in circles THE ENTIRE TIME?!

**Elly:** Calm down, Double L. We're not walking in circles.

**El:** _*running in circles*_ Ahahaha! Circles are funny!

**Elly:** _*shocked* _Forget it. _*grabs Elle* _I'm gonna take you to my sis' house. We just have to figure it out where she lives.

**Elle:** _*sarcastic* _Yeah, that's a good idea! Searching clues in a desert, starving and in the middle of NOWHERE!

**Elly:** That's the spirit, girl!

**El:** SPIRIT! _*puts her breasts on Elly's head*_

**Elly:** _*angrily* _El, take your gigantic watermelons away from me!

**El:** Sorry, Elly. _*smiles with her tongue out and rubbing her head*_

_The girls soon noticed a beach far away. It had palm trees, hammocks and an open air restaurant._

**Elly:** Could this be… _*smiles happily*_ WE'RE SAVED, GIRLS! _*runs to the beach*_

**El:** Hooray, Elly! _*follows her*_

**Elle: **_*runs after them*_ No, wait! This is a…

**Elly:** _*dismisses her*_ This is the best thing ever! I'm gonna dive!

**El:** I'm a fish!

_Ignoring Elle, t__heir faces slammed into the ground, trying to dive into the "sea"._

**Elle:** _*shocked*_ …mirage, ladies.

**Elly: **_*touching her head*_ That hurt, man.

**El:**Where's the fish?

**Elle:** Come on, ladies. We have a long travel to do.

**Elly:** Agh, this sucks, man.

_After that, they were walking again. Suddenly, they saw something resembling a town far away from them. They were a little suspicious about that._

**Elle:** _*putting her hand on her eyes to see* _What is that?

**Elly:** _*annoyed*_ Another mobage?

**Elle:** It's mirage, Elly.

**Elly: **Same thing!

**Elle:** Well, we have only one way to check it out…

**El:** Diving?

**Elle:** Yes… _*beat*_ I mean, NO! _*composes herself* _We have to go there.

**Elly:** Okay, Sockhead. Ladybug last! _*starts running*_

**El:** Let's go! _*follows her*_

**Elle:** Hey! _*runs off*_

_They were running for a long time. The suspicious mirage was approaching as they ran. Soon after, they've stopped. When arriving, they realized that it wasn't a mirage._

**Elle:** A town?

**To Be Continued…**


	3. Author Notes (Suspension)

**AUTHOR NOTES**

**Well, I'm afraid I have to say this, but I think I won't post more chapters here. The reason is, I have some problems with the fanfiction rules that are affecting my fic seriously, and it's a problem for future chapters.**

**However, that doesn't mean I will stop writing it (hell no). What I will do is to post the fic in DeviantART, and putting it as a Download file. So if you want to know the rest of the story, I'll put a .RAR file with the entire fic soon, but you'll have to wait a little, I'll post the link soon.  
**

**To those who were following my fic, I'm so sorry ****for the inconveniences caused, and I hope you'll like the fic even if it is no longer posted here.**

**My sincere apologies, bye!**


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